Saturday, October 30, 2004

The end of Anferny I

Anferny died wednesday afternoon. It's friday evening and I just flushed him down the toilet. That's two and a half days his stiff corpse floated around in that little bowl. Needless to say, when I poured his remains into his watery grave, it was stinky as hell. So now when ever I think of the week long relationship I had with my fish I'll prolly just think "Damn, He died a smelly death." Im out.

Friday, October 29, 2004

God I hate Carleton

So often my blogs deal with things I disagree with, find irritating, or just down right hate. I will continue that trend with this entry.

Kelly, Benhameen and I were watching a glorious Volleyball match between the Oles of Saint Olaf and the Carls of Shithole in what will be known as "The Battle for Northfield's Fertile Women" on the night of the 27th. After the first game, which our valiant Volleyballs kindly gave to the Carls, this total Douchey Spawn of a Whore saunters onto the court.

"I just Can't wait to be King" is played over the PA system

And he begins to dance.

Of course, he does the exact same move the entire time: A slight hop with a flap of his arms which were shaped into 'chicken wings.' I wish I could describe it for you in more detail but you'd have to see it in person.

Anyway, his hat was cocked, he was wearing slippers or something and he just looked like a total -insert euphamism for retard here-.

Let me just conclude by saying
THANK GOD I'M AN OLE!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Eulogy

And yea God said to Abraham, "You shall kill your son Isaac." And Abraham said, "I can't hear you. You'll have to speak into the microphone" And God said, "Oh, I'm sorry, is this better? Check check, check one two, Jenny could you pull the high end out? Im still getting some hiss back here." Requiem et Terra pax and so forth

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

RIP Anferny

So as many of you know, I got a fish last week named anferny. One week ago today to be exact. Well, sometime between 10:45 and 12:40 today, Anferny passed away in his little bowl. I can't really say this was unexpected but it does sadden me because i never really got to establish a bond with anferny. He was a good fish. Always swimming around and diving under the rocks. Unfortunatly he didn't take to eating very well. So good bye anferny. You will be missed and never forgotten until I get another betta fish and name him "The Revenge of Anferny" or "Anferny Part Deux" or something to that nature. Please leave comments expressing your depest regret for never saying good bye to Anferny.

-Ben "I killed my fish" Wareham

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

I am awesom-o

Well I exercised my dominace over our Hairy ass neighbor today at circa 8:04.

They were shouting and dicking around and out of no where, surprising myself and Ben, I screamed: "SHUT UUUUUP!!!!" and the hairy one said "why don't you come out here and say that" and then it was just quiet. Mission accomplished. Now, Ben and I are going to watch the Hole because it is a great Film with integrity and lube.

I HATE GUSTAVUS

Now, this whole thread of Joe v. Ben was mildly entertaining, but right now I'd like to focus on something a little bit more important. the Gustavus dual meet. Now, I'd say over 10 times a day i think about this meet and last night I even dreamt about it. Except our team was populated with much better looking people from my past.

But seriously, I'm nervous as hell. I can't wait to kick their ass.

Signing off.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Sorry joe I LOVE YOU!!!!

Man, it really sucks I can't edit ANY posts, not even my own, now! Oh wait, yes I can. I'm doing it right now. I'm going to take this moment to say, Joe is a huge douche bag and I am so sorry I messed with him because he clearly thinks he is the dominator, but couldn't even dominate Tad. I now realize that the reason Joe wanted me to get a new account was that now the entries are SIGNED BY THEIR RESPECTIVE AUTHORS AUTOMATICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A FLIPPIN SWEET IDEA, even though we both sign them anyways. Really cool idea.

I also love Napolean Dynomite and am going to be him for halloween.

-Ben "Man I'm Awesome" Wareham

Crap on Joe

I am the greatest. No matter what Joe tries to do I will always prevail. I prolly just spelled that wrong, but it aint no thang. There will definatly be retalliation for what I did, but no matter. Joe bitches annd bitches about how I won't cooperate on setting up another account cause he's afraid that I'll edit his posts. I only did once and he almost craped his pants over it. I wouldn't have done it again but he made such a big deal over it. So check Joe's post right below this one and then after you read it, say "Goddamn, Ben done did it again." I win.... for now.

-Posted by Ben @ 10:31 AM

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ

Now before Ben sinks this Titanic ship of a blog with his anti-humor, I'd like to get one last entry in.

Ben smokes the meat cigar.

You may or may not have been obsessing over what I've been doing this fall break, and the minute you stop obsessing is the minute the terrorists have won. Now, I know I just used a joke over 3 years old, but excuse me, Skyler is now drunkenly IM-ing me from campus asking, why is I dislikjing him?@! And i just replied using the word "annal," most likely incorrectly.

God. I hate the Yankees. I also hate the Red Sox. So will the freaking Cardinals please win a game? Now, I know, Schilling at home, unbeatable, just wait until these next 3 HOME games where the Cards are something ridiculous like 7-0 at home in the post season and then we'll see some magic.

Ross and I saw "Team America" tonight. It's kind of shocking, and kind of funny but they are really stretching it with some of their jokes... but this weekens airing of the top 27 south park episodes has been delicious. I do enjoy the Lemmiwinks episode for its social commentary and beastiality.

Clearly, Ben and I are out of our writing element away from campus, and our fish so I will end this trainwreck with this thought: Go out and buy Jon Stewarts "America" text book. You will be so very happy you did

-Joe "Tap Dancing Christ" Anderson

Fall Break Bitches

Fall break is great for relaxing. It sucks for doing pretty much anything that resembles fun. But then again, who needs fun when you have Tivo? All the fun I need is right here at home and on my TV screen. Let me just say, thank God for DirecTV. Also, thank God for John Stewart and The Daily Show which is where I get all of my news (prolly not such a good idea.) I worked 12 and a half hours in the last two days in a coffee shop, that was ok. I went for a bike ride on the river today (that's right, ON the river) and am still convinced that the mississippi river is one of the most beautiful places in the fall even after many of the leaves have fallen. Did anybody who watched the baseball game get as angry as I did at how bad it was? I apologize for this post. It sucks. It's not funny. I really don't have anything to rant about.....except this bitch that came into the coffee shop today. I was emptying one of the giant coffee urns (huge coffee pot) and talking to the other employee when this couple came in. Now, I realize that if I tell this wrong I'm gonna sound like the ass hole, but bear with me cause this lady was a bitch. So I had my back to the counter when this couple came up cause as I said, I was emptying the urn and had a little bit left. My co-worker was telling me something, so I didn't immediatly aknowledge the customers. Now when I say immediatly I mean the actual second they made it to the counter. So as I was listening to my co-worker finish what she was telling me, the lady says "hello?" in this high, condescending, bitchy voice. Now, this really shouldn't bother me too much and you might agree, but first off, it was just the way she said it. I wanted so bad to be incredibly rude to her in some way, but I couldn't think of anything that would be acceptable right away and also that's just hard for me to do to customers even if I do wish they were dead. Secondly, she did not even have the right to say anything. She had been there maybe 5 seconds without acknowledgement. She is obviously an attention-craving slut who can't stand to go for any amount of time un-noticed by those around her. Fuck that shit. So this post was pointless. If you read it all, I just wasted about five minutes of your life that you will NEVER get back. Marinate on that.

-Ben "Sicka than bubonic" Wareham

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Testing testing une deux trois

So since I tried to split this blog between ben and I a long time ago but Ben was less than cooperative in making a new account, I just bequeathed the previous account to ben and added myself as this member. Hopefully it'll show that "Joe" wrote this instead of "Larson 704." So we all know who wrote what. I may even invite Tad to become a regular writer but since he doesn't do much besides play dead and eat and make noise with the ice crystals at the bottom of his small bowl I think I just blogged his ENTIRE EXISTENCE.

GOOD DAY SIR

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

Two quick things. Today in greek class I pointed out a typo in our book and got a silver dollar.

Also, people who still continue to wear their backpacks using only one strap: It is not cool. It never was. You're going to get scoliosis and die. You probably also gel your hair. Look around you, does anyone else gel their hair anymore? Maybe some kids from Edina but really, if you're wearing your backpack on one shoulder and your hair could grease up the H20 Bugg's engine you probably need to take a moment and Reasess your chess.

I once bought a book called Reasess your chess because there was a 6 month period in my life when I wanted to be good at chess. I'm still not very good.

-JOE ANGRY ANDERSON

What the hell is a rant?

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Ya Heard?

So today at lunch Joe pointed out a sign in the caf that said "Korean adoptee meeting." So of course this got me thinking, I could adopt a Korean. Joe has a fish named Tad, I could have a Korean and name him (or her for that matter) Anferny. I could keep Anferny in my room and play with him and feed him and teach him tricks. He'd be the coolest Korean anyone had ever adopted with the bitchinest name. What you got to say to that Tad?!!?!?!?! Anferny could smoke your ass. But then again, a Korean would be alot of responsability. And what would I do with Anferny over breaks? I would need to get someone to take care of him. He would prolly keep me up at night too and mess up my room. Come to think of it, I'll prolly just get a fish

-Benjaminanenanananena

My name is Tad Harrington and I am the newest member of 704

Joe Anderson is my lovely owner and he is a little tipsy so I am writing this blog for him. Joe may have alienated a few of his friends with his depression and such but I think we can all forgive him of that. Anywho, Joe does NOT play Sims nearly as much as I expected him to. I do love him and any moment he spends infront of me is orgasmically amazing.
-Tad

Sunday, October 17, 2004

UPDATE YAAAAAAY

Big big day today.

If you ever need to feel better, get out of a rut, whatever, just buy a bunch of shit and you'll forget your troubles.

Today I bought: The Sims 2 which is really fucking amazing when it decides to run at a manageable speed, and a Betta fish named Tad Harrington who calms my nerves. Plus some food at Target. Anywho I thought I'd update a bit before going to bed considering the flurry of activity Ben has provided. Of course, andrea probably won't read this because it's written by me. This will be proven by the fact she'll leave a comment on every single one of Ben's entries and zero on mine. Jealous? Yes. Totally.

-Joe "I have a betta fish and Ben don't" Anderson

one more

Joe has been playing the sims 2 for about 3 hours straight now and shows no signs of stopping anytime soon

Doppleganger

Also, I'm not sure how many of my friends from back home are reading this piece of crap, but if you are then I'm pretty sure many of you remember Brooks (i.e. mini me). For those of you who don't know who Brooks is, he goes to my former highschool and pretty much looks like someone tried to replicate me only stacked something heavy on him before he had comepletyl hardened. So imagine me, but squish me down to about 5'4". I'm bringing this up because I was up in the cities last night for the gopher volly ball game and the towel girl is another Ben Wareham remake. This girl is pretty much exactly how I would have lookes at age 11 if I had been born a girl. It was bizarre. We named her Benjina. So i've come to the conclusion that somewhere there are two very inept (yup, i used that word again) aliens without laser eyes trying to make clones of me in a large pizza oven and sending them to earth to deterraform our planet and take over the human race. What?

-You know

P.S. after you leave a comment, unless you're a total douche bag, sign it so we know who you are

ESSAYWHUMAN!???!?!?!!?

I'm really not too sure where to go with this post. I'm doing it purely because I was pressured into it and would feel bad if i dint do it. I suppose I could start with an all time favorite larson 704 topic, larson 703. Our hate for our neighbors continues to grow like the stench that that is leaking out of there room. It's gotten to the point where if im in my room and I decide to go somewhere, i can smell their room before I even touch the my door handle in the inside of my room. Then I open the door and walk into the hall and se that their door is also closed. Then I suffer a minor brain aneurism by trying to comprehend the pure force of that stench while simultaniously vomiting in my mouth, just a little bit. Not only does their odor conitnue to grow, so does the noise that they make too. I was reading tonight and could hear their music, with both our doors closed, better than I could hear mine. Then I got so overwhelmed with rage that I think my heart stopped in my chest for a second or two, but then the music jolted it back into rhythm. All this too when i was just starting to warm up to the over-weight and cross-eyed one. He apologized to Joe about his roomate (and I do still believe that the majority of my hate should be concentrated on the stupid & hairy one) but the fact that Kris (cool name) is allowing his annoying ass roomate to grow in his social ineptness has put him back in the cirlce of hate and anger. So, as my good friend Mari would say, Larson 703, you're dead to me like Christopher Reeves

-Benny benny boo boo boo boo boo

Thursday, October 14, 2004

P.S.

P.s. I totally killed Ben with my bare (bear? nice one, Dead Ben.) hands today. I felt like a god damn samurei or samurai or something

-Joe

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Got Dizzam!

Joe's just jealous cause the only comments he's gotten are ones that he sent to himself and riddicule from his fake girlfriend (who is awesome.) Oh, and that little pitty comment there from his bra, thanks for giving him a little self-esteem boost. That's really all I got on that, but looking back it seems like I ususally have two parts to my updates soooooooo.......

My mind works on a very simple level. I want to do things or see things happen because I think they would either be a) fun, b) funny or c) both. Like the other day it was raining outside and some bitch comes flying past me on her bike. I mean she's just tearin ass down the side walk and the first thing that pops into my head is "Oh dear God, please make her fall." I kept my eyes on her till she was out of sight, and it almost happened too. She had to make a quick turn and looked a little wobbly, but managed to keep her composure. Also, we have quite possibly the world's most retarted squirells in the world on the St Olaf campus. Now, I don't ususally use that word, but it fits so perfectly here that I made an exception. They are slower than hell and unbelievably fat. So, when one of them sees you, they wait untill they know it's absolutly necassary to run away. So, with my level of humor, every time I see one of these dumb fucking squirells i always wonder what would happen if I just charged at one? Would I be able to catch it? I always just have this strong urge to just run at one and kick the shit out of it, just to see how far it would go, but then I decide that there are too many people around and that might not go over so well with some of these tree-hugging lutherans. But some day......

-Benji

P.S. I totally killed a fly with my bear hands today. I felt like a god damn samurei or something

November 12th, 2004

Clearly we know which member of Larson 704 Andrea is making out with because she only happens to comment on his posts. And yes, it is me.

That's really all I have to say except for if Ben changes anything in my posts ever again I'm going to take away my aqua teen hunger force DVDs and then we'll see who will be laughing on into the night.

-Joe Anderson, proud member of the sub 1:45 club and if you aren't a member than I am not responsible for being nice to you.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Comments

Comments are welcome and encouraged. It lets us know that people are actually reading this crap. Give us suggestions or just tell us you love us, it's all good. Also, here's a lesson on how to leave a comment, cause apparently the interweb is a little too confusing for some people. See that link down younder that says comments and has a number in front of it? Roll your cursor (that little arrow thing) over that word and click. It should bring up a new page (WOWEY WOW WOW!) In this new page you can leave a comment and profess your love for either me or Joe.

Now that that's out of the way, I HATE MY GOD DAMN COMPUTOR! It is such a piece of shit. What is the point of trying to change a two minute long song that I'm listening to when it will take three minutesto bring up iTunes? Do you even know how annoying it is to try and quickly send a witty remark on instant messanger only for it to take a minute or probably even longer to send? Probably not, because your computor doesn't suck nearly as much cyber-ass as mine does. Even when I'm writing this post it will freeze up but I can keep typing and then wait a minute and watch every thing that I've tried to say appear before my eyes. Fuck that shit. I'm audi 5000

-Big Bad Body Rockin Ben, Bitches

Monday, October 11, 2004

Friday, November 12th

So last night Ben is up with a girl again until 12:30 and of course that means Joe is up until 12:30. I didn't really care because I was playing this game on addictinggames.com that was pretty non-lame plus who doesn't love Tribal Music. I should mention that Kris, the red-headed, cross-eyed member of 703, apologized to me in Greek the other day. It was very touching, in fact instead of really apologizing he just blamed it all on his roommate although he did throw in a nice "I'll tell him to be quiet." Which was sort of appreciated by me but I couldnt really hear him over his crossed-eye.

Ben just said "I hate this green more than anything in the world" He's talking about a putting green on Tiger Woods 2004. He was playing it when I left at 9:30 and he's playing it now at 11:00. He attests that he's been elsewhere like "upstairs" and "on IM talking to long lost friends" but the holes in this story are so big you could drive a fat hooker through them.

I had a piece of hawaiian pizza and a pineapple pizza bagel and it was very tasty. I can smell my feet and they are on the ground and my nose is approximately a foot above my desk because I'm kind of slouching. I totally rocked the vote today and got some lanyards and free blank CDs and It's pretty much official: I'm voting for Badnarik. Plus I need to get an absentee ballot or i'm voting for no one. Huge greek test on wednesday, HUGE!

--Joe "I'm a HUGE douche nozzle. Yeah, I said it" Anderson--

Oh yeah....

Kill Gustavus

Titles are lame

Since it has come to my attention that soms people actually read this weblog I kind of feel obligated to update it. As you can probably already tell, I have lost interest in this thing as I predicted. Also, I definetly started out way to strong with that rant about our fucking neighbors (who, by the way, were blasting south park songs on their computor and singing along at the top of their lungs while I was trying to study last night. Fucking dicks.) Now I just really dont have too much to follow up on. I had three test today and that sucked, but I've pretty much already complained about them to anyone who would listen. Ummmmmm.... I had a band concert, but anyone that would care about that would have gone (ass holes). Of course I'm just kidding, I don't hold it against anyone that didnt come (which was everyone including my friend who told me he was going to drive up from the cities for it and never showed). But yeah, that's about it. Not really too interesting of a weekend. The legion was fun. Friday night in general was fun. Saturday blew like Joe in a room full of confused men. Moral of the story? I like to use parentheses. I'm out bitches...

-Benji

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Ask and ye shall receive

So Ben was out until maybe 1 in the morning with some girls. I do not approve!
Anyway today I didn't do much I guess. Slept through breakfast, sent out a very late birthday card to my 3 year old niece, ate a pop tart... Did my greek during calculus, and let me just say, I'm a freaking greek master.

Swim practice was rough. I was nervous for today's set for about a week prior but thankfully I performed better than I could have hoped. The set was 10x100 Fastest possible average with 10 seconds rest or in other words, a broken 1000 for time. I came in at a 9:51 which I think is better than any time last year.

Our neighbors are howling in glee and I can only imagine they have received another star from Princess or something totally lame like that. There's this girl who is really really creepy and has black hair and sits in there and just watches them play their video games. Shiver me timbers.

-Joseph M. L. Anderson

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

blog

So basically this blog is gonna be focused around ranting. I'd like to begin my first rant with how much I hate blogs. First of all, just the word blog is annoying. Is it really that hard to just add one more syllable to it? A two letter syllable? So from now I'll be switching back and forth from refering to this as a weblog and a blog, depending on how lazy I'm feeling. Secondly, who actually wants to read this crap? Case and point, Joe's previous post. Also, I just spent a paragraph talkin about how I hate a word. I probably missspelled a few words too, so that could make anyone feel better about themselves and their spelling abilities, but if that's the case, then you, my friend, are an ass hole.

Rant #2:
Seriously though, the guys across the hall are annoying as hell. They play Mario 64 non stop. I might understand if it was a cool-old video game (like zelda), but it's Mario 64. It does not take a month of endless playing to beat it, and it's not even that cool. Worst of all, their facing the door when anyone walks by so they can stare at anyone that comes to our octet, and one of the dude's is cross-eyed. I don't mean to judge at all, but having this cross-eyed guy stare at you with a video game controller in his hand every time you walk into your room is a little annoying, and creepy.

-Ben

P.S. My door is closed and I can hear them playing it right now. God Dammit.

703, Gustavus, Greek

So last night, around let's say 12:30, Ben and I are attempting to fall asleep (much to late if you ask me but I digress) when we keep hearing video game noises from Larson 703. The boys near us, Kris and Dan, have been playing Super Mario 64 atleast 8 hours a day since we got here. They always keep their door open so we can always hear everytime they get a coin or whatever in their stupid game. So it's 12:30. I'm lying in bed and I just shout "CLOSE YOUR DOOOOOOOR" and to my delight, they heard me and closed their flippin door. Of course, this has been the second time I've asked them (not so) kindly to do so; God help them if there is a third.

After a nice and easy morning practice, I asked Bob when we were going to do one of our Pace determining test sets. He said that we'd probably do one on Thursday. I asked if the distance people were going to do something different than the typical 10x100 but he said he didn't know, maybe we'd do 20 or 30x100 but he said "You get a good idea after about 10" of what your pace is going to be. Then we talked about the Gustavus dual meet and how Gustavus got a pretty talented mid-distance freestyler, 1:43/4:45ish. I'm more excited about this than scared because I know I'm not going to lose to any Gustie, ever. Atleast with this new buckshot in the mix we won't completely embarrass them in the mid/distance freestyle events and they'll actually be exciting to watch!

Greek is really flippin hard. I awoke from my 2 hour nap just in time to throw on some clothes and race to Old Main. I mean, I think I still got a 95 or above but I was really aiming for a 100 this time. I messed up some accents and I didn't really know how to translate "of [noun]" I knew it was in the Genative but I didn't know if I should include a definite article or what. Anywho, I'm going to make some Greek Notecards and then eat some well deserved lunch.

-Joe... καλὸς

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Ben.

Ben, I'm glad you could stop canoodling with girls for one second to update our blog.

How Nice of your music major ass.

-Joe

By the by

That was me
-Ben "The most groin-grabbingly handsome guy in this room" Wareham

Sup?

The other day I saw two guys kissing on a bench, and that was the gayest thing I had ever seen, until I read Joe's post

The Inital Larson 704 Post

Well hello there, weary traveler. I see you've made your way to the Harry Potter Fan Fic Blog. Here you will discover original exploits of your favorite Harry Potter characters, Hermionie, Ipswitch and Fallafel.

So, I, a blog lover myself, posited the idea of a Room Blog to Ben. He said sure, he'd do it for a week and probably lose interest. And i said, Yeah I probably will to (Totally intending not to lose interest) But I figure this could be a great outlet for both of our humorous ancedotes we seem to have way too many of in the first place.

I'm going to end my first post with a hearty KILL GUSTAVUS!!!!!!

Love,
Joe, the awesom-o-est member of Larson 704 or ALL of Larson for that matter.