Wednesday, November 17, 2004

An Apology

I apologize to myself to illegaly downloading Jamie Cullum's "Twentysomething." Actually, I don't so much apologize for downloading it, but for making myself listen to it. Once as I got to his 'faux-jazz' rendition of "I'm Singin' in the Rain" I had a brain anuerism so fast that I collapsed onto my keyboard. Thankfully, I hit the space bar and iTunes stopped.

Now, I decided to go ahead and write one of my own quizes, a la "Cosmo," but instead of "Are you a good kisser?" this one is called "Do I hate you?"

1) Did you vote for Bush in 2004?
a. No
b. Yes. (You might as well stop taking the test because yes, I hate you. well, unless you're my parents. I guess I can over look that but I still hate that you voted for him.)

2) How old is the Earth?
a. A couple billion. Don't really know
b. No more than 10,000 years

3) Did you go to our Gustavus Meet.
a. You fuckin bet wouldn't miss it for the world
b. No because I am a used douche bag.

4) Do you make fun of the music Joe plays in Larson 704
a. No because we know everyone has different tastes.
b. Yes because I am Ben Wareham

5) Are you Tad Harrington
a. Blub blub
b. No

Well. If you selected "B" for any of your answers. Chances are I hate you.

"But Joe! You shouldn't critizie someone for what they believe in!!"

Interesting. Fuck you.

H-A-T-E-R, that's me

I feel that as of late, the blog just hasn't been angry enough. So in the time I have right now during chapel time, I'm gonna start a running list of things that I hate, have hated, or just bother me in general. As I said, this is a runni g list so it will be added to later as things that I hate come to my attention. Feel free to comment and add things that you hate as well, but keep in mind that if I feel that it in someway is a shot at me or if I just flat out dissagree it can and will be removed from the comment section. Ok, here we go.....

At the top of my list right now are papers on subjects I don't care about that will determine the outcome of my grade in a class. Why should I worry myself over something that is of no importance to me and what I want to do with my life? Because the school decides that I need to stress over things that I don't care about. Also, on that subject, bullshit classes in general make the list. I hate that I have to waste my time in a class that I will do as little possible in just so that I can scrape by with a B or maybe even a C just so I can get that GE. Now the list os gonna get longer cause I'm tired of explaining why I hate things, I just do.

People who were tapered jeans. People who wear highwater pants. People who were shants (long pants, a cross between shorts and pants) and think they look cool. The sign that says "Respect non-smokers rights, make sure you smoke at least 10 feet away from the building" On the music building. Smokers are respecting your rights by not putting their cigarette out in your eye, so don't worry about their distance from the building, cause WHO THE FUCK CARES? Sandles with socks. Von Dutch Hats. The "witty" abercrombie or american eagle shirts that are "advertisements" that have sexual connotations. Actually, I don't hate those shirts so much as I do many of the people who wear them. People who pronounce the "h" in words like where, why, what , and when. People who over pronounce the "s" at the end of "because" and don't pronounce it as a "z" sound (Any one from Highland Jr. High can remember Mr.Cornish.) Most of the music majors in my classes. For that matter, most of the music majors make the list. The people who live in the room across the hall. Stupid people. Overly smart people. People in general sometimes. People who know me well who seriosuly still think that I play the Oboe in the Orchestra. Emo kids. I fucking hate emo kids. Skater punks that either don't skate or suck at it. For that matter, kids who call themselves punk, when all they listen to is new found glory, brand nu, and good charlotte.

That's it for now cause I got to go to class, but that's just the begining. Expect much more hate out of this kid right here *points at himself with his thumbs* cause it's in there, I just can't hink of anymore at the moment.

Have a nice day

Monday, November 15, 2004

It's been oh so long

Well, we did it. "It" being, beat the gusties. Woo hoo, boo yah... ho hum.

Now there's nothing to do until February. Oh i guess there's Steven's Point and Carthage but at the same time I know I probably won't be going any where near as fast as Gustavus but yeah.

I'm very good at spending a lot of money on worthless shit I'll use once or never. Cases in point: The Sims 2. I think I played that game for like 2 days and then didn't ever again. Also, I bought 2 CDs in an effort to become a little bit more snobbish and say "oh yeah, I have 'The Fiery Furnaces' Album, yeah, it's so October 2004," but I tried listening to it and its just undigestable. Im sure the CD I bought along with it is also a piece of shit. I will not follow the orders of Pitchfork Media and buy crap thats "Adventurous" and "Experimental" I'll stick with Pop shit I can atleast sing along to, like Zero 7.

Also, I've spent about 3 dollars on the pinball machine in the cage and I already have the high score (this is hyperbole. I had 1.6 billion and the high score was 2 billion but I had 2 balls to go when the FUCKING BALL GOT STUCK and in my efforts to shake it free just ended up in me "Tilting" it...) but i decided I'm going to own my own pinball machine or machines when I'm older and my parents give me a trust fund and I do nothing but lie around the house/apartment/shack I live in with my deaf-mute boyfriend who's 5 years younger but 5 times more successful than me.

Here's a Blog Tidbit... "Recent research on INternet usage has estimated 8,820,000 Americans have written in an Internet journal at least once" (Pew Internet & American Life Project, 2003)

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I got another one

So I've got blog spewing out of my ass. I've been away for so long that I keep remembering stuff that I wanted to write about. Also, I'm supposed to be starting my 8-10 page paper that's due on monday, but am trying to find better things to do. This one's on larson 704's favorite subject: the douchebaggery of Gustavus. Joe, being the nerd that he is, loves stats and also loves letting people know that he loves stats. In september, he posted some numbers that he crunched concerning the St Olaf and Gustavus rivalry. You can see check those out here:
if you feel so inclined, which you should cause they are kind of intersting. But if you scroll down a little further you'll see a post by what we assume is a gustie alum. RustieGustieSwimmer
is his name. I don't want to get too negative on this cause that's what exactly what this dude would want. More so I just wanted to point out how ridiculous this guy was. Please go read it and then go back and try to find out any where that Joe was negative in his post? "What prompted this guy to react this way?" you may ask. No one will ever know. It's the mystery of the gustavus swim team. Although, I have come to the conclusion for the time being that the Gustavus that is so negative are the people on the team that have the good kids to hide behind. The ones that think, "Yeah, I'm part of a good team so I can say whatever the hell I want because these guys will back me up. Right?" Wrong. Will Sutor, who I must say is a pretty frickin amazing swimmer, sent our coach an email apologizing for the actions of his teammates and alums. I have a great amount of respect for that. I was also pleased with the effect it took on our team. I think it got us thinking that the Gusties really aren't that bad. That we can be like them too sometimes and let our views get skewed and just write them off as asswholes when at the same time we're being jsut like them. Only not as vocal about it.

God Dammit. I just realized that I have become everything that I hate. Some douche bag sitting at his computor, trying to explain why someone else is a bigger ass whole than he is. I read stuff like this and want the person who wrote it to die. Son of a bitch. In conclusion, I hope I die in my sleep. Tomorrow night. After we destroy Gustavus.

-Big Bad Body Rockin Bombay To Boulivard Ben

P.S. Please tell me someone caught the reference to that god awful schick quattro comercial in there


It's here. The time is finally here. Tomorrow is the big day. The duel in the pool if you will. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself untill then. This is the meet that Joe has kept a count down on our white board since the begining of the school year. How can there only be one day left? I hope all that read this are gonna be at the pool tomorrow yelling your collective balls off, cause if you aren't, I hate you. Unless you live or go to school in another state. Then you're safe from the circle of hate and anger, but if you don't you better do your damdest to get here. Hey, I started writing this at 1:11 on November 11th. Wow, that's pretty wacky. ah? AH? Anywho, its been a long ass time since a post on this here weblog has been made, so I thought I would bring a little excitement back into the readers' otherwise uninteresting lives. To tell the truth though, I don't have much else on my mind except this meet tomorrow. I'm just so goddamned exccited for I could vomit.

OOOH. I got something now. There's a girls in my english class who I'm pretty sure is pregnant. I don't mean to make fun of her at all, cause I'm not that much of a bastard, but it does seem like getting pregnant in your sophmore year at an expensive college is not the smartest thing to do. I mean, what does she do after it's born? Can you have a baby in the dorms? I think I would be pretty fucking angry if my roomate had a baby and it lived right next to where I sleep. And actually, the fact that she's pregnant doesn't bother me all that much. I mean it's her decision and all, right? What bothers me the most is that I didn't notice until now. All of a sudden, last week in class i looked over at her and BOOM! she's in like her second trimester. How the fuck does someone just all of a sudden become that pregnant? It's like she just skipped three months. Conception, Maternity clothes, next thing I'll hear that she had the and will be back in school in a couple of weeks. I gotta say though, power to her for goin through what she's about to. I don't think I could of done it. Wow, this post took an interesting turn. So in conclusion, sex can wait, masturbate, I hate gustavus, keep on keepin on, ummmmmm, yeah. WU TANG!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

The moment you've all been waitning for

First off, this post is a test. Aparently i started writing this post at 11:30 as it will say at the bottom. BUT, we're gonna see what time it is by the time my computor can contomplate all the words on it's screen and process them and all that nerdy bullshit until it ends up on the weblog. It is now 11:35 and that only took me about a minute to write, so we're off to a blazing start.

It's november 2nd and you know what that means? It means I only had one class today and there are only 10 days left until the biggest swimming showdown the midwest has seen in a long while. I'm just gonna put this out there yet again, if you go to stolaf, or are in the general area *cough* *carlton* *cough* and you read this blog, you NEED to come to that meet. If you don't you are officially not my friend anymore, and I prolly won't even acknowledge your presence if we ever cross paths again. Even if you're not close to northfield, you should be racking your brain in a effort to figure out how you can make it to SKOGLAND POOL AT 6 O'CLOCK ON THE NIGHT OF NOVEMBER THE 12TH (that's a friday.)

Oh yeah, there's some election thing today. I don't know too much about it, cause it's not like people have been handing me propoganda to throw away for them and trying to persuade me to vote. I mean who actually wants to vote anyway? It's not like it matters that much, right? I mean, if TRL has taught us anything, nobody's individual opinion matters. It's all about fitting in with what everybody else wants to see day after day for the next 208 weeks. What? Seriously though, if you didn't vote, you are officially a douche bag. You get a patch and every thing. You have to wear a hat that says "I commited douche baggery" every hour of every day, and when people see you they'll say "hey, that asshole didn't vote." Do you think you can live with that? I'll answer that question for you since I know most of the people who will read this: NO. You can't. So go vote, you weak minded twats.

Also, if anyone reads the comments that people post, and by people i mean andrea cause nobody else leaves any feed back. Assholes. Anywho, if you read the exploding hair story, my guess is that Hairy from across the hall in 703 shaved his body in the 4th floor showers. And interestingly enough, all of it has grown back.

It's 11:51