Saturday, December 11, 2004

Big news in the world of larson 704.... K-ris and his hairy roomate re-arranged their room so that their chairs dont face the door. This may not mean much to you, but for us it means that whenever we walk to our door now we don't have to stare into those lifeless, empty, crossed as hell eyes. In other news dimabag darrel of pantera got sprayed with bullets on stage at a concert. This just goes to show you that if he were 50 cent he would still be alive. Cause bullets can't kill that man, only bad reviews can.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

God it's been a while

So much has happened since the last time I posted. Some good things, some bad, but things happened that is for certain. Records were broken, I did some homework, Joe punched Ross in the face, Eric Tvedt hurt his knee and then was a huge vagina about it and said he couldn't swim, but then he realized that his vaginaitis was becoming more and more apparent so he swam anyways. Most importantly though, I got my advent calender. "What's so important about an advent calender?" you may find yourself asking. Well, I'll tell you. It's fucking sweet. That's why. This is no ordinary advent calender. Not only do I get to keep track of the days left until christmas on a kick ass picture of santa handing out some toys. No, I get to do that AND celebrate each day with a delicious piece of chocolate. Yum. And when I forget to do it one day you know what that means? Two pieces of chocolate the next day. Great glory whoever thought up the chocolate advent calender is a fucking genious. Now I'll recap the characters that have been on the pieces of chocolate so far through today: 1. Candle 2. Airplane 3. Frosty THE Snowman 4. Ornaments 5. Some little dude popping out of a boot next to a present 6. Santa, that's right Jolly Old St. Nick himself 7. An elf (I think. I guess I'll just call him "Some Dude") and finally 8. The Man In The Moon. Pretty fuckin sweet, huh?

Moving on to more good news, I got more memory for my computor. It moves so fast now that I can't even begin to complain before its done what I wanted it to. It is seriously orgasmic. Now when I have at least two programs running it doesnt take two or more minutes just to switch from one to the other. Now when I want to quickly send a witty comment or remark on Instant Messenger, IT DOES IT! It is incredible. I feel like a new man. A new man who's now a little less angry since one of the main annoyances in hiw life has been taken care of.

Speaking of angry, I am getting fucking irate at the caf lately. The two most angering incidents I can think of right now are: last week when I went to the bowls line and there were no noodles and the rice had just run out and the kid working told me that there was now more rice and the caf was still open for another 35 minutes. Then I reluctantly went to get a burger and afterwards, on my way past the bowls line again there was a full pan of rice. It must have been a miracle, cause that kid assured me there was no more rice in the caf. I'm also pretty sure that was the day they ran out of 1% milk which (for those who don't go here) BLOWS ASS because the only other options are chocolate milk (delicious, but too thick to be the only thing you drink at a meal) and skim milk (BLAAAAHHHHH! How can this even be called milk? It tastes like someone filled up the container with about 1/4 milk and then diluted the rest with water.) Incident two: Today at dinner when they were out of pretty much everything they said they had. Home line was empty, I got the last of any of the pasta sauces of which there are usually 3, nothing left in the bowls line, and really thats all that matters because theres really nothing else worth even looking at. Except the burgers. However, I feel kind of hipocritical (and I'm pretty sure I just spelled that wrong, but fuck anyone who would judge me on that. Fuck you in your fat ass) about hatin on the caf because it is pretty damn good food when it gets right down to it. We had a swim meet at Carthage in America's armpit, wisconson this weekend. We had to eat in their caf and it sucked my balls. There was hardly any food, and the food there was was really bad. Except for the soft serve machine, those are a necessity for our caf. Moral of the story: Eat chocolate, Drink your 1% milk, and stay the hell away from wisconson.

Deuces,
Ben

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

oh shit cock jesus

So I happened to follow my hairy ass neighbor, the one who enjoys singing along to "Shut your fucking face uncle fucker" at 12 A.M, into the bathroom. He went into the pooper, I, into the pisser. He dropped a deuce, and then got out of the stall before i was pernear half done with my urination! This leads me to believe he DID NOT WIPE! He also DID NOT WASH his hands.

I'll leave you to grieve.

PTF

Some Gear shit, Brah... n't PTF

Anti-semitism is the new pink.

Deuces