Sunday, February 20, 2005

St. Olaf is also a Liberal Arts College

Well Conference came and went and what do you know we lost it. Total bumout if you ask me. But even though we didn't win conference that doesn't mean we can't celebrate and lord knows that today's existence has been a painful one. I have found myself more likely to take a pen and jam it into my jugular than to use said pen and to formulate greek sentences with impecable grammar and style.

You know whats funny. I have a goal sheet on my backboard of my desk and in looking at it, I realized that I acheived a collective zero of those goals. I'm sure there's something to be said for the setting of ambitious goals but when I look to the goal sheet to the left of the "Impossible Dreams" sheet and see that I beat my underwhelming goal of 57 in my 100 fly I feel damn good about kicking the shit out of that goal. So I propose to myself this: set daily easy ass goals like "be mean to stupid people" or "dont wash hands after peeing" because I already fullfill these goals on a regular basis. Maybe after I achieve these goals I'll move on to harder tasks such as "think about washing hands after peeing." My high school girls' swim team had sweatshirts that said something asinine like "Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars!" How gay is that shit?

-Joe "Joe Anderson" Anderson

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

I've always hated napolean dynomyte.

Just thought I'd mention that.

*long, drawn out sigh*

So, last summer I went and saw Napoleon Dynamite. Then I went and saw it a couple more times. I had finally found another movie that could fit into the same catagory as Pootie Tang in that it made no sense and hardly had a plot, but was absolutly hilarious for some people. I know that some people who read this will dissagree with that statement, but they can eat my ass cause they obviously don't know humor when it punches them in the back of the head. Anyways, here was a movie that I could quote with my friends and others seemed to have no idea what the hell we were talking about. We had found another movie that we could claim as our own. But then dissaster struck. Napoleon got big. At first I was happy that every one was seeing this movie. I mean, the writers deserve it for being comedic geniouses. But now, every where I fucking walk I hear "Tina! Eat your ham!" or "Your mom goes to college." and it is killing me slowly from the inside like a small parasite. Napoleon has taken America by storm and it may be one of the most annoying take overs ever. EVER. Not only do most of the people trying to quote the movie sound absolutly nothing like ND himself, they usually are (insert witty euphamism for retarted) and don't even get the quote right. How can you get a quote that lasts no more than a sentance wrong!?!?!??!?!????!!!! God Dammit. Most of all, it angers me the most that this was once something I loved. Napoleon was great. I used to quote him all the time, but now I can't shake of these other morons trying to do the same and I end up not only hating them, but hating myself for even being in the same demographic as them as annoying quoters. Anyways, I hate stupid people is basically what it boils down to. there will prolly be mroe to come on this subject seeing as how these people annoy me to no end. And at least I still have Pootie Tang.

Sada Tay,
Ben

Sunday, February 06, 2005

I died last night.

The weird thing is. joe cleaned Sushis bowl last night and I just got so jealous that I gave up living. I dont know why he just didnt clean my bowl at the same time. Oh well. I was a good fish. Now i'm a dead fish in the pipes of St. Olaf!